When was the last time you were saved

I remember just the other day a conservative christian told me i was saved if i only let THE HOLY SPIRIT into my little black heart of sin. I was so grateful to be let in on the secret of secrets. Apparently just being a good guy just isn't enough to secure your seat next to the Almighty. I tried to think as i always think and by that i tried to figure out what i do so wrong that god wouldn't see my hard work as a generally decent human. I thought maybe its the booze and if i crawled out of my house of whiskey i might be saved. But didn't jesus turn water into wine? So next on my list was fornicating with my girlfriend but if god can see my work ethic then i should make it in for sure not even god likes a quitter. Then last on my list was saying god damn every chance i get but seriously when I say it i mean it god damn.